My heart it broken.  This morning my little girl (just barely 2 years old), threw a tantrum.  It wasn’t just any tantrum.  It was a five minute fit about not wanting me to go to work.  “No Mommy Work,” became her mantra.  The more she said it, the more I wanted to cry too.  I swear her eyes looked like this:

The Mom Guilt is real today.  

Luckily, it is a Friday–and it will be a long weekend too.  I’m looking forward to spending it all with her and her little brother.

Mornings like today’s leave me questioning life choices.

How do I let my little ones know that I go to work because my job lets me help others in a unique way, and that my job brings me a fulfilling sense of purpose that I wish for them to find one day?

How do I express to someone who still doesn’t quite have the concept of time down that I will be back this afternoon, and then we can play together for 3 days straight?

How do I let them know about the major time investment that I have made in my job?  I went to school through the 26th grade (4 years of college, 4 years of medical school, 3 years of residency, 1 year of clinical fellowship, and 2 years of research fellowship) to get this job.  And I still owe almost $200k on the student loans that financed that education.  It would be a major waste of time, money, and effort for me to just “not work.”

And how do I let them know that despite loving my job, I LOVE them more?  When they really need me, I will drop everything to be with them.  (I’m grateful for a wonderful family-focused culture in my current job).

While writing this post, I found an children’s book called, “Mommy, Please don’t go to work!”  I just ordered it–so I can’t review it here, yet.  But I’m hoping it will help me start to explain.

To all of you working mommies out there–especially Dr. Mommies–I salute you!